Ugh. Mice.

Sep. 13th, 2009 10:14 am
kajarainbow: (Bleedy eye-mask)
The mouse running around in my room's increasingly pissing me off. Those 'humane' traps my roommate use are useless. I'm seriously considering getting something lethal and putting it in my room.

Look, I know those mice didn't really ask for it, they're just trying to live and all, but they're really causing problems in this house.
kajarainbow: (Leekspin)
EDIT: Well, now that I've been informed that there's no real danger from lightning in urban zones, I'm going to just go ahead, thunderstorms or no. Whee!
kajarainbow: (Rainicorn)
I'm okay. The pony apocalypse wasn't as fearsome as some people feared. It's fun having my own colorful mane for the moment.

In the meantime, here're some news:

This trip has been longer than I expected. My parents keep hinting for me to stay longer. But I have things to do at home, so I'm going to go tonight. Today, I'm working on packing so I'm actually ready by the appointed time (and so I don't end up sticking myself with stress over rushing to get everything done in a short time).

My Livejournal paid account's running out, and I decided a while back not to renew. The main effect this'll have on me is that I go back to having only three icons to use. So, which of my icons do you like best? Any icons you'd strongly recommend for me?

Regarding Sky's Crack: I got stuck, but I will post the next installment this week. I got some useful tips from [livejournal.com profile] majorkerina on how to handle my characters.

I still like you all. Very, very much so. You're cool people.
kajarainbow: (Leekspin)
Anything you'd like me to post about? By which I mean "blah blah what haven't I been talking about that you'd like to hear about blah blah". That meme. I never liked the copy-and-paste text that goes with those memes. However, it seems like a good way to prompt posting about topics people're interested in. Anyway, ask up!

Incidentally, I never really said this, but last December's trip went fairly well. Some transportation mishaps, but I made it safely on all of the legs of the trip. My family treated me nicely (though again the gender topic was never discussed), and I had an absolutely wonderful time with Janna after that. Christmas was interesting. Very busy doing family Christmas things. Vague, I know, but I took way too long to write this.

Been trying to get therapy, but I'm not getting replies to my emails to the GBLT center that offers those services, so I'll have to call again until I can actually manage to reach the person who can set up my first appointment.

Now thinking seriously of moving (once I get my act together). Right now, I have two options, who to live with. Two of my lovers look to be in a position to offer such space.

Nathan. Situation looks stable if he can get HUD (government housing bureau) approval for a new roommate. Both of us're on disability payments, so that's a pretty steady if miniscule thing. >.> West coast, which's far from my family and those of my family in Boston, but which sounds like a potentially exciting adventure (I'm being honest and giving my pure emotional reaction here). Besides, I do have West Coast friends. Also, the climate's really nice. I don't like the cold, and there's not that much there. Orange County, California.

Janna. Situation isn't financially stable right now, but hopefully will improve after her graduation next month, which is one thing I'm waiting for (to see how that turns out). Vermont right now, but she's said she wanted to move if she got the opportunity (and whatever job she gets might involve moving). Probably the Northeast, which would overall be closer and to family and a bunch of people I know (though, again, I do know some West Coast folks). Climate's kinda urgh for me, but perfectly manageable (I grew up with this kind of climate after all so I'm used to it). I had a great time when I visited, and I could easily see myself living with her (I got so comfortable that I was sorry to leave).

I haven't visited Nathan, (though he's visited me) so maybe I should give that a try. Money's an issue, though. I can work something out, though, I believe--if I save up for a few months, it's most likely doable. Cutting expenses and all that.

As for why... [livejournal.com profile] bossgoji's moving out anyway, leaving me with [livejournal.com profile] glashund as a roommate. He's great. But it's less reason for me to stay especially with the chances to move in with people I'm in an actual relationship with dangling in front of me--and as well either a lot more sun and warmth or closer distance to my family and friends. And both Nathan and Janna've gotten me out of my shell more than most other people. On the other hand, both [livejournal.com profile] glashund and I seem to have natural hermit tendencies.

Edit: Comments disabled due to spammers targeting this entry.
kajarainbow: (Weird Space Eyes Sahaqiel)
Was feeling less sick, so had a great date with my visitor, Nathan. Japanese food, a bookstore, and a walk back. But I need to realize even if I'm improving, I still need rest. I just annoyed one of my friends by rambling incoherently at them due to being both sick and tired. So I'm just going to bed. You all won't be seeing much of me until I'm completely better.

EDIT: this friend explicitly expressed their annoyance, so if you're wondering if it's you, it isn't you. Just clearing that up after another friend asked me if I thought I had annoyed him.

Sick.

Sep. 19th, 2007 10:37 pm
kajarainbow: (Lilith dining set)
Nathan (System) is here. I'm too sick to do much though. I showed him Okami and watched him play it and him, [livejournal.com profile] bossgoji, and I watched Cowboy Bebop. And that was it.
kajarainbow: (Dogmonster)
So, I'm here! Was quite an interesting trip, took longer than I expected.

First off, I ended up late for the buses I was going to take, but I just decided, "The hell with it," and rather than go home, I just relaxed around on some grass, got some things to eat and some stuff for the trip, daydreamed a bit, got sprayed by automatic sprinklers and made a rapid exit to the oppoosite side of the road, daydreamed a bit more, and then got up and went. I suspect if I'd done that in the first place instead of stressing out about missing the exact buses I was going to take, I would've been already here a few days ago.

I then got updated times from the staff members, exact gate numbers, and made my way on the extremely long trip. I didn't know how long it would actually turn out to be. See, there was the usual periods of long-ass sitting on my butt (which always makes said butt hurt, heh). I liked riding in the daylight as it mainly meant that I could read Perdido Street Station and such on the way. The reading of said book is proceeding slowly, more slowly than the first time I think, mainly because I'm luxurizing more in the details. It's a very detail-rich book, and even as I read it, I feel like I'm learning some things about writing details, something I tend to have trouble with.

So. I get to Hartford largely without incident, and it's all closed at. I don't have tickets to Boston bought because I was planning to buy them there. But things turned out okay! I did more reading, putzed around on my mobile phone (I finally got the IMing and some other networky things to work again!), and did my best to sleep on an extremely hard bench (I nominate it for the World's Hardest Bench contest. It might not win, but it certainly will put up a good fight!). Six hours of that before the ticket office opened at 6 am, a ticket purchase, then two more hours. Got to recharge my cell phone in a back hallway and no one seemed to care about my doing it.

Then I got to Boston! Catie and I both promptly collapsed into bed after picking me up--me from an exhausting trip and her from a little bit of food poisoning. Now we've had a nice rest and are ready to go on with our day!

Foods eaten on this trip: dried fruits, some junk food, two chicken sandwiches, a hot dog, mixed nuts, saluteed veggies and red potates and garlic bread, frozen fruit treats. I ate a lot more than I expected, especially meat mainly because I hadn't treated myself to it in a long time. o.o

Anyway, that's it. I'm here, I'm okay, and it wasn't in any way a traumatic experience. :)

A delay...

Aug. 8th, 2007 11:25 pm
kajarainbow: (Fork-in-head octopusgirl)
Long story short: I'm not leaving tonight. Tomorrow instead, hopefully early.

This mainly just means I will arrive at my parents' a little later than expected. It won't affect my visit to Boston.
kajarainbow: (Dogmonster)
After all the doubts expressed in my previous post, I've decided to attend regardless. I probably won't be making it on Friday due to the expected delivery date of a replacement laptop (remember this and this posts, yes I'm finally getting a solution for that). However, I'll show up on Saturday and Sunday.

I think I will try to turn a negative into a positive, and get some kind of "conbook" that I can use both to capture conversations and random sketches by others and whatever the hell. I still have one of the notepads I used from last year, actually, preserved for posterity. Ideas for the book?

I appreciate the suggestion of electronic devices, but they probably won't serve my needs as being more convenient than plain paper-and-pencil (the DS would probably be somewhat less so, actually). As for ASL interpreter of some sort, it's very short notice to acquire one, though if I do end up in an circumstance to attend next year (which's very up in the air, I might end up moving out of town, and at this point I'm still poor which puts a dampener on things), I'll see if I can plan ahead enough to get one.

But, really, I think I'll try to make it a point to be less shy about opening communications with other. Otherwise, I'm going to be doing a lot of sitting around while other people talk around me, like last year.
kajarainbow: (Great Leopard Moth)
This is happening pretty much right in the town I'm living in. One would expect that I would naturally attend.

I'm not certain I will.

Last year, I had fun, but I also had a lot of time with nothing much to do. Because of my deafness, talking to others was a slow, laborious process for writing everything down on paper, and many didn't bother so much in any more than a brief manner (though I truly do appreciate those who made extra effort to communicate with me more extensively than the others, [livejournal.com profile] circuit_four really stood out in this regard and I apologize to any others I might have forgotten).

The only convention features that appeal to me, or are doable, are the art stuff. Artist's Alley, that gallery thing they had, and seeing all the costumes walking around. And, also, meeting people, but... all it really accomplishes in the most part is to put faces to the online text communication. Events and panels are right out of the question.

The food runs I went on, I ended up eating, and then sitting while people chattered around me in conversations invisible, intangible to me. It was getting to the point where I was idly scribbling weird symbols in my notepads just to occupy myself.

In light of all this... Hmm. Your thoughts? Suggestions?

Thanks

Mar. 16th, 2007 01:37 pm
kajarainbow: (Default)
Many thanks to everyone. You who read this, for giving me so many interesting things to read. My hosts, for being gracious hosts. Riikka, for giving me company throughout my sickness.

Anyway, I'm over the worst of the hump and getting better. I do now have diaherra, but overall things aren't so bad. Hopefully I'll be back to full shape by tomorrow!

Illness

Mar. 15th, 2007 05:23 pm
kajarainbow: (Default)
Okay, really sick right now. Was in quite a state of delirium last night (to the point where Riikka said I sounded like I was in pain).
Gross TMI )

Read more... )
kajarainbow: (Ring of Light Armisael)
I'm at my parents' house. I won't be online much for this whole vacation, I think. (This is serving as notice of game-missing for the people who both run those games and read this journal.)
kajarainbow: (Soulthrister from Exterminatus Now)
I'm thinking of catching up a bus to Hartford, CT to visit my parents (and sister and grandmother) for Easter and then afterward continuing on upwards to Boston to visit some friends. Especially [livejournal.com profile] circuit_four, [livejournal.com profile] postrodent, [livejournal.com profile] shatterstripes, [livejournal.com profile] porcelaingirl, if you good folks happen to be free then. ^.^

What dates might be good visiting days? Anyone else living in Boston who'd like to meet me?

Sick.

Jan. 17th, 2007 11:37 pm
kajarainbow: (Yuri from Alien Nine)
I think I've got the cold that was going around my roommates.
kajarainbow: (Yuri from Alien Nine)
So I missed first a train and then a bus to visit my parents for Christmas. It probably doesn't help that I've been feeling travelled out, but this has been just the latest in a recurring series of extreme problems with organizing anything at all.

I'm going to see a doctor. About ADD medication. I've received (unhelpful) treatment for depression, but never for ADD, even though I told them about the ADD issues. I mean, this one doctor put me on an one-month trial of some anti-depressant, okay? I take it pretty regularly, and then return to report no noticeable results. And then... I never got around to following up on the ADD thing. Because I never did remember to. Hah.

Time to look for a local, trans-friendly doctor. I need to discuss with them transition health issues, as well, I'm sure. Right now, I can't really afford to do the fully legit route, but it'd be good to see what I can at least do to look after myself on this budget.
kajarainbow: (Toothy Lovecraftian ghoul)
I have nice shiny boots. My roommate's dog thinks it's acceptable to attack the boots while I'm wearing them. It hasn't actually hurt me so far (they're pretty good protectively), but it's annoying and I doubt it's a good precept. But I'm not writing this to complain, but to ask how I can get her to stop. Do you folks have any advice on dog-safe repellents I can put on my boots or other methods of getting her to stop?

Just not wearing the boots isn't an acceptable solution (though I've had it suggested to me). I need footwear on at least sometimes to get some things achieved, and those boots're my only real footwear.
kajarainbow: (Quietly feeling like a monster)
Going to try provisional voting, since I didn't get to register.

Also, sometimes I wonder at the purpose of this journal. Essays? Dream postings? Mundane life updates? Bits of surrealness? Commentary, fiction-bits, and more. Those are all things I've done. Every now and then, I get an urge to devote this space to something. I always do the usual generalization instead.

Anyway, I changed my journal's theme and am working on my tags. I had too much tag-proliferation before, caused partially by lack of standardization--often I would use different names for the same subject out of an inability to remember what I'd used before! But I'm fixing that, and more of my posts'll probably have tags, making for easier related-subject searches.
kajarainbow: (Default)
Sometimes Zippy the Pinhead does strange things to my memetic headspace. I've mentioned it once before on this journal, but those most recent strips left me particularly mulling some very altered viewpoints. With strips featuring themes like Conflicting Forces of the Universe, More Than Kitsch Art, and Happiness in Sadness, it's the most unique currently running newspaper strip out there I know of (though if any of you know of another like it, I'd love to know).

Also... My birthday's coming up soon. I only mention this because I recently got a happy birthday wish on here. Now, the thing is, more and more I've been tending to treat my birthday as more of a quiet personal thing. If any of you would like me to observe your birthdays, speak up and I'll make an effort. :) But, for myself, I don't really care if other people do observe my birthday or not. If my birthday passed with no one remarking upon it, I wouldn't mind that. Honestly, I've gotten tired of birthdays, and of gift-giving holidays in general--having to think of things I want in order to tell others, and getting presents I don't have much use for.

I find this birthday remarkable only because it's the first deadline for starting transition (I've set a few before) that I've actually met.
kajarainbow: (old wolfie icon by unknown)
Okay, here's the story. My dad, a psychologist, found and suggested a nearby (as in the same town) therapist who supposedly worked with gender issues. My experiences with this therapist were unsatisfactory, he seemed to get off track onto my supposed passive-aggressiveness issues (and took my snapping at him about it as validation that I was finally venting some supposed repressed anger). Also, I got the impression he'd only worked with transvestites and the like, not transsexuals.

Now, the real issue: this therapist worked with a psychiatrist in the same building--they shared an office suite. He referred me to his psychiatrist friend for evaluation. The psychiatrist prescribed antidepressants, which I felt were getting entirely besides the point. I could trace most of my depression to specific problems, often caused by my great difficulties in focusing. I tried taking the antidepressant anyway, but ended up not really taking it very faithfully due to lack of confidence in it being the right course. The psychiatrist then told me he didn't want to see me again until I showed he could trust me to take his prescribed medication daily.

This was a couple of years ago. I haven't seen any therapists since.

I was telling [livejournal.com profile] goji about this, and when I got to the part about them sharing the same office building, she told me this sounded like what the industry calls a "tag-team approach". Basically, the therapist refers the patient to his psychiatrist friend, who prescribes an expensive medicine, and then the therapist receives under the table kickback from the psychiatrist.

The medicine the psychiatrist prescribed? Lexapro. I don't know much about medicine prices, but my parents remarked on its high price.

Rather circumstantial evidence for that scam. But at best, the psychologist and psychiatrist I saw didn't really listen enough to realize my actual issues. At worst, they teamed up to scam me.

I don't think my dad was involved in the scam if there was any. I'd have to agree with [livejournal.com profile] goji's description of my dad as kinda idealistic.

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