kajarainbow (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kajarainbow) wrote2004-03-25 07:17 am
kajarainbow) wrote2004-03-25 07:17 am
Entry tags:
Fricking weird!
I had a dream. With, for the moment, real-world impact, if only mental impact.
The important part (and the parts that I really remember) started with me asking my dad to tell a story/play a game (in this case, the meaning wasn't really seperate). And he told a horror story, about this Japanese boy being trapped into a series of events he can't control, basically he passes out each day and has a nightmarish vision, the first one predicting his own death and giving him a knife which he wakes up with. After that, he starts going more wild. At about the point where he is about to disappear in some evil person's school office, I decide I've had enough, and quit the story/game.
And, then, my immediate extended family and I were paddling up some random creek, with a swimming family of bear, and all. As we wandered around, the creek dried up. And, we found some building with a gate inside blocking it, and could not figure out how to open the gate. I played a Fisher-Price game in vain. And, then my grandmother suddenly sat me down opposite her at her table and announced that I was cursed.
Apparently playing my dad's storygame had cursed me. And then I saw a whole bunch of numbers with indeterminable words next to them (that silly cliche about not being able to read in dreams), basically those were all the curses I had. I had a LOT. The numbers were the DCs required to dispel them, as in AD&D 3rd edition "difficulty classes". Some ranked up as high as 30! 30's basically really hard to do, on an average dice roll one would need a bonus to the dice of 20 (the average being 10ish to give a sense of scale). And then we found the DC 40 curses. Ye gods. But, my grandmother was a hell of an amazing sorcess-witch, as she dispelled the DC 30 curses. But the DC 40 curses... Not really doable.
So I stacked the odds in my favor. I equipped some magical items that gave me enough bonuses to push the final result over 40. And, then I found out that the curse was, roughly, "Not-feeling-worthwhile/can't-do-much". And, I fucking woke up with a sudden greater sense of self-worth! Even immediately did some work I'd been putting off for a long time.
It was really weird. Did something in my brain finally snap and decide it'd had enough of this?
I'm still not sure what my future I will be. I'm quite frankly, an unemployed college dropout living with her parents, receiving disability checks because she went crazy at her last job and is deaf to boot. Plus, many, most people wouldn't really recognize me as a woman at this point. But, I suddenly felt, and feel, that I can make some kind of future. What kind of future, I will still need to find out.
I hope this feeling stays. I hope I do something with it.
The important part (and the parts that I really remember) started with me asking my dad to tell a story/play a game (in this case, the meaning wasn't really seperate). And he told a horror story, about this Japanese boy being trapped into a series of events he can't control, basically he passes out each day and has a nightmarish vision, the first one predicting his own death and giving him a knife which he wakes up with. After that, he starts going more wild. At about the point where he is about to disappear in some evil person's school office, I decide I've had enough, and quit the story/game.
And, then, my immediate extended family and I were paddling up some random creek, with a swimming family of bear, and all. As we wandered around, the creek dried up. And, we found some building with a gate inside blocking it, and could not figure out how to open the gate. I played a Fisher-Price game in vain. And, then my grandmother suddenly sat me down opposite her at her table and announced that I was cursed.
Apparently playing my dad's storygame had cursed me. And then I saw a whole bunch of numbers with indeterminable words next to them (that silly cliche about not being able to read in dreams), basically those were all the curses I had. I had a LOT. The numbers were the DCs required to dispel them, as in AD&D 3rd edition "difficulty classes". Some ranked up as high as 30! 30's basically really hard to do, on an average dice roll one would need a bonus to the dice of 20 (the average being 10ish to give a sense of scale). And then we found the DC 40 curses. Ye gods. But, my grandmother was a hell of an amazing sorcess-witch, as she dispelled the DC 30 curses. But the DC 40 curses... Not really doable.
So I stacked the odds in my favor. I equipped some magical items that gave me enough bonuses to push the final result over 40. And, then I found out that the curse was, roughly, "Not-feeling-worthwhile/can't-do-much". And, I fucking woke up with a sudden greater sense of self-worth! Even immediately did some work I'd been putting off for a long time.
It was really weird. Did something in my brain finally snap and decide it'd had enough of this?
I'm still not sure what my future I will be. I'm quite frankly, an unemployed college dropout living with her parents, receiving disability checks because she went crazy at her last job and is deaf to boot. Plus, many, most people wouldn't really recognize me as a woman at this point. But, I suddenly felt, and feel, that I can make some kind of future. What kind of future, I will still need to find out.
I hope this feeling stays. I hope I do something with it.
no subject